Quill / Moments / Quotes for caregivers, when you're the one holding it together
Quotes for caregivers, when you're the one holding it together
You know the pharmacy's opening hours, the names on three appointment letters, and which chair is easiest to get up from. Everyone asks how they are. You answer. Hardly anyone asks about you.
Caring for a parent, partner or child who is ill can take up the whole of a day, and you may do it after work or around a family. People on carers' forums are honest about what comes with it: exhaustion, resentment that surprises them, and guilt for wanting a weekend off. Many say the wish for a break sits right alongside the love, and that saying so to another carer was a relief.
These lines don't judge any of that. They're quiet, and they're written for you, the person doing the caring.
The moments
- The third pharmacy run of the week
- Everyone asking how they are, and nobody asking about you
- Wanting a weekend off, and the guilt that comes with it
- Sitting in a waiting room with a work email open
- A short temper, and feeling awful about it later
- Being thanked by nobody, and minding
What people say helps
- Saying it out loud to someone else who cares for a person
- A friend offering one specific job, in place of “let me know”
- Taking a break and being told that's allowed
“You're a saint” and “remember to look after yourself” sound kind and leave you with the same list, and one more thing to feel bad about.
Quill Originals are written by Quill. Popular sayings are widely repeated lines with no name attached. Lines with a name are checked word for word against public-domain books.
Quill Originals
You know the nurses' names, and their kids' names.
You've got good at things nobody applauds.
Two jobs. Only one has a payslip.
Love and tiredness live in the same house.
This is a lot for one person.
Nobody claps for clean sheets. They're still clean.
Good enough is plenty.
You're doing a hard thing on very little sleep.
Nobody trained you for any of this. You learned it anyway.
People call you a saint. You'd settle for a nap.
You've been holding this up a long while.
Someone else being ill doesn't cancel your tiredness.
Nobody does this perfectly, and that includes the professionals.
You'd do it all again, and you're allowed to be tired.
You asked the awkward question at the appointment. Good.
Sitting down is allowed.
Nobody saw how gentle you were this morning.
The whole file lives in your head.
The pharmacy knows your voice.
Some days you miss being only their partner.
You've shown up so often that it looks easy from outside.
You've lost things in this too. You're allowed to notice.
You're still someone with a favourite song.
Needing help with this is part of doing it properly.
They know your footsteps.
Sunday night, filling the pill box.
A good day, and you're still on alert.
It's hard. You're allowed to say so.
A load of washing at midnight, again.
Anyone in your place would be tired.
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